STARTING TO LOOSEN UP

 

 

“it’s starting to loosen up”

the art teacher says.

yes, but don’t think it’s only been four weeks coming

i’ve been working at this loosening-up for fifteen years

chipping away at the walls

unpicking the knots

searching that room for manoeuvre.

 

   colour drips and splatters

      pages warp and bleed

         words dissolve

            pictures tilt

               paper tears

                  scraps are binned, then saved

 

                     and for the very first time

                        a few reckless flicks of paint stain the pure white walls of my attic.

 

“there’s something funny going on with your shoulders”

the yoga teacher prods.

too right there is

you try hunching yours for a few decades

then perform a stylish ado-muka-shvanasana

jesus, this’ll take me more than one lifetime

 

   muscles stretch and soften

      bones take their ease

         nerves call a ceasefire

            bloodcells gasp fresh air

               space appears inside

 

                  and for the very first time

                     i stand on my head unaided

                       thanks be to god, i pray

                          palms touching – behind my back.

 

“set your body in motion, and the psyche will heal itself”

the movement teacher promised.

so, barefoot and brave, I join the moving throng

five rhythms of life guiding my way

the child who never danced is coming out to play

 

   torsos roll and swirl

      limbs jab and stab

         bodies touch, then dissolve into chaos

            energy lightens

               heads become empty

 

                  and for the very first time

                     i’m no longer at war with my own nature

                        there is only the beat and the heat and the sweat of this moment

                           there is only the dance

                              i have become the dance

​

 

Chris Beale

November 2010