WHY I IMPROVISE

 

Fluidity

 

In about 1996 a homeopath pointed out the rigidity in my character; she even gave me a pill for it. I was rather affronted at the time, but she was right: I'm thrown off balance when my expectations are upset; and I stick with things in life well beyond their best-before date.  I want to become more flexible and adaptable to changing contexts and conditions. I want to go with the flow, and this is what improvisation teaches.

 

Self-knowledge

 

Improvisation is a form for discovering who I am beneath my skin. Staying open to the messages coming through, attuning to what's going on within my body, mind and emotions, develops awareness of what is real: Who am I at this moment? What is the shape of my fear? To what degree am I present? What dialogue is running in my mind? Finding out new things about myself necessarily involves exploring the unfamiliar, which is intrinsic to improvisation. Having this knowledge, I am able to be more authentic.

 

Presentness

 

My mind drives me crazy, forever worrying about the future, or going over conversations and encounters that happened in the past. Improvisation brings me back to the present, as it requires an acute focus on immediate experience. In many ways it’s like meditation, only without sitting still: it is presence, in motion.

 

Playfulness

 

I tend to take my life very seriously; my responsibilities weigh on me heavily; and I’m always trying to get things “right”. To counter these tendencies, I seek to develop a lighter, more playful attitude to life, where I will not feel so burdened. I want to enjoy life more, a lot more. I’m discovering that, as an adult, it's not too late to learn to have a playful spirit. And so I play: not at a fixed game with rules, but in an undefined creative activity, where there's nothing to win and nothing to lose.

 

Trust

 

Improvisation develops trust, because I’m not in control of everything, and I don’t know what’s coming next. I’m learning to be at ease in my own skin, to trust that whatever happens in the present is ok, and that is truly liberating. I want my life to be more like this.

 

 

CHRIS BEALE

SHEFFIELD, APRIL 2014